Hey English Lovers !! Welcome to FRESHLY SQUEEZED NEWS !! Our news is so fresh, it happened TOMORROW !! WORDS OF THE DAY : " pause " ( If you stop speaking JOKE OF THE DAY : WE NEVER SAY : DID YOU KNOW : NEW EVENTS : There's a pretty amazing photography show about disasters this week in the city. WHERE ? Hyde Park Barracks Museum' Macquarie St, near Sydney Hospital WHEN ? 9.30-5pm
HOW MUCH ? IT'S FREE !!
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Come on, everybody, don't be shy !! You'll be famous !! ( If you don't
give your name, that's OK too !) "Hello?"
"Hi honey.
This is Daddy.
Is Mummy near the phone?"
"No Daddy.
She's upstairs in the bedroom
with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause,
Daddy says,
"But honey,
you haven't got
an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do,
and he's upstairs in the room
with Mummy,
right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then,
this is what I want you to do.
Put the phone
down on the table,
run upstairs
and knock on the bedroom door
and shout to Mummy
that Daddy's car
just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy,
just a minute."
A few minutes later
the little girl comes back to the phone.
"I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?"
"Well, Mummy got all scared,
jumped out of bed
with no clothes on
and ran around screaming.
Then she tripped over the rug,
hit her head on the dresser
and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!!
What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed
with no clothes on, too.
He was all scared
and he jumped out of the back window
and into the swimming pool.
But I guess he didn't know
that you took out the water
last week to clean it.
He hit the bottom of the pool
and I think he's dead."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says,
"Swimming pool?
Is this
6228 5731...?"
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